Creating The Perfect Burger
It's official. Burgers are my favorite food. Does that make me basic? Sure. But it doesn't mean I have to settle for mediocrity.
Since at least the 19th century, burgers have become a staple in American culture. They are the foundation that holds our democracy together. If I am only on this earth for a short amount of time, I feel that it is my patriotic duty to experience this food in its purest, most perfect form.
Join me now on this quest to craft a burger that surpasses all others. I will not rest until I have tamed this wild beast. Through trial and error, I will wield the scientific method to form the greatest burger this country has ever seen. Welcome to the Burgerdome.
P.S. I recently stumbled upon this burger themed site hosted over on nekoweb. Please check it out if you get a chance!
Every house needs a foundation. Every burger needs a bun. There are several variations of the burger bun, but for the sake of this mission, I will seek to perfect the standard cheeseburger. That means no pretzel buns, no sourdough buns, and no godforsaken lettuce wraps. Actually, I might allow a sourdough bun, but it seems like a stretch. Basically, the end product should be able to be described as a cheeseburger without any additional adjectives needed.
Oh god, my mouth is watering already.
We'll be sticking to beef patties for this mission, so our priorities will be finding the best kind of beef, and the best way to cook it. Anything seasoning related will likely go in this section.
Sorry, lactose intolerant community, hamburgers are simply inferior to cheeseburgers. Okay. It's been a few days since I wrote that last sentance and I'd like to apologize. I think I must have been so hungry that I came at you, the lactose intolerant community.
Let's face it. If your burger has no toppings you may as well die right then and there because there's no longer a point in living.
I know. I was talking shit about lettuce wraps mere moments ago. But there is a time and a place for everthing, and lettuce is the quintessential burger topping. The bun, patty, and many of the other toppings are served to fall apart in your mouth. This is, of course, one of the beautiful things about the burger, but to elavate the experience, you need a little crunch. Lettuce is perfect for this.